Heart of a Princess
by EsmeAmelia
Summary: AU. Leia wakes up in a hospital and discovers something shocking. Written in honor of Carrie Fisher. NOW A TWO-PARTER.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't own Star Wars. This was written in honor of Carrie Fisher and I damn well hope she pulls through. Also, it's rather obviously an AU (of TFA at least) and credit where credit's due – my friend RensKnight had the idea that if Ben hadn't turned to the dark side he might be interested in becoming a doctor.

"Heart of a Princess"

Beep . . .

Beep . . .

Beep . . .

The sound droned on and on, penetrating against Leia's skull in the dark. Beep . . . beep . . . beep. Her head hurt. Her chest hurt. Something was digging up her nose. Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

Where was she anyway? The last thing she remembered was . . . was . . .

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

She was on the Falcon . . . wasn't she?

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

On the Falcon . . . then . . . then . . .

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

Why wouldn't that stupid beeping stop so she could concentrate? She was on the Falcon . . . then something happened . . .

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

On the Falcon . . . the Falcon . . . then suddenly . . .

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

Sudden pain . . . yes, a sudden pain in her chest . . . she'd gasped for air and collapsed . . . and then . . . she couldn't remember . . .

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

"Mom? Mom, are you awake?"

Ben's voice! Where was he? Then again, where was _she?_

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

"Mom?"

She had to somehow reach him through the dark. Her being concentrated on her dry, sore throat, determined to produce some sort of sound. "B-B . . ." Her throat burned even with one letter. "B-B . . . Beeeennnnn?"

She thought she heard her son gasp. "She's awake! Go tell everyone she's awake!"

Awake . . . if she was awake she should be able to see, shouldn't she?

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

She found her eyes, but they felt glued shut. Come on, open them, _open them!_

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

Stupid beeps. When she opened her eyes she'd smash whatever was making them.

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

Finally, with a grunt, she pried her eyelids apart, feeling like she was tearing her skin open.

"Mom!" Ben's voice cried again.

The light shot into her eyes as if she were looking directly at the sun. She blinked, dampening her eyes, fiercely trying to get something, _anything_ to focus.

Then she felt a slick, rubber-gloved hand on her cheek. "Mom, Mom, Mom . . ." It sounded like Ben was close to tears.

Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .

Finally she blinked enough to bring her son's handsome face into focus. There he was in his white doctor's coat that contrasted with his luxurious black hair, a tear or two streaming down his smiling face.

"B-Been?" she asked again in a raspy voice.

Ben breathed a long, relieved sigh. "You're all right, Mom. You're gonna be fine now."

"W-what . . . what happened?"

Ben inhaled deeply through his nose. "You . . . you had a heart attack."

"I _what?"_

Her son quickly grabbed her left hand as if afraid that she'd have a second heart attack. "Don't get upset – it's all right now. You've been out for a few days, and well . . . you scared us all for a while, but I wasn't gonna stop zapping you until your heart started up again."

"Wait . . . wait . . . my heart _stopped?"_ Leia felt as if she had just been hit with a stunray. She was healthy, wasn't she? Didn't heart attacks only happen to unhealthy people?

Ben squeezed his mother's hand. "You're okay now, Mom. I'll take care of you until you're well enough to be released."

Leia took several deep breaths through her mouth even though doing so hurt her chest. "I-I know you will . . ." She'd faced death countless times in her sixty years, but somehow this was different. This wasn't caused by Imperials or enemies of the Republic or anything except her own heart . . . but _why?_ She was only sixty and she took care of herself – her hair hadn't even gone completely gray yet - so how did this happen?

Now Ben was tilting his head to her right. "Dad saved your life."

"W-what?"

"He performed CPR on you right after you collapsed."

Leia glanced to the side and there was a familiar head of gray hair just inches away from her hand. Han was slumped over her bed, snoring gently, looking more disheveled than usual.

Ben grinned over at his father, shaking his head. "He hasn't left the hospital once and he only ever left your side for refresher breaks. I even had to bring him his meals."

"Same old Han," Leia sighed. She looked back up at Ben. "I'm so proud of you, son."

Ben shrugged. "As we're supposed to say, I'm only doing my job – anyway, would you like some water or something?"

"Yes, water would be nice," Leia croaked out.

"All right." He leaned over and kissed his mother's sweaty forehead. "By the way, Happy Fete."

Oh right . . . she and Han had been on their way to spend Fete with Ben and his family. Leia suddenly felt a twinge of guilt, as if she had ruined everyone's holiday by having a heart attack. After her son left the room, Leia slowly stretched her arm out to touch her husband's cheek.

Almost instantly Han was awake, as if he'd programmed himself to wake up if she did. "Leia!" he shouted, grabbing her hand and kissing it over and over. "Leia, Leia, Leia . . ."

Leia felt herself automatically grinning. "How is it that even after forty years you still surprise me?"

Now Han was pressing her hand against his cheek. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't know you knew CPR."

Han closed his eyes, absorbing her touch. "Oh, that. Well you know . . . sometimes you pick up a few odd skills when you're a smuggler." He opened his eyes and blinked at her, as if he couldn't believe she was alive. "But _damn_ , Leia, you scared me."

"Well . . . I don't really know what to say to that . . . other than that I'm sorry I ruined Fete for all of you."

"Are you _kidding?"_ Han exclaimed. "You bein' _alive_ is the best Fete present I ever got."

"Better than Ben?"

"All right, second best." Now he was squeezing her hand in both of his. "But you're gonna be okay now, right?"

"Well, Ben says I am, and he should know."

"Guess we should be glad he became a doctor," said Han. "He didn't give up on you."

Leia smiled, leaning back into the pillow. "There's further proof that I've got the best family in the galaxy. A family that doesn't give up."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: RIP Carrie (and Debbie too) – I'm still crying about it. I decided to make this fic a two-parter in her honor.

"Heart of a Princess"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 2

"Daddy, why's that machine beepin'?"

"Well Hanna, that machine helps us keep track of your grandma's heartbeat and make sure it's beating regularly. That way if something goes wrong with your grandma's heartbeat, the machine lets us know right away."

Leia slowly opened her eyes to the voices of her son and granddaughter, a yawn stretching her lips. "And the beeps are _really_ annoying," she said in a sleepy voice.

"Mom?" Ben exclaimed. "I'm sorry, we didn't mean to wake you . . ."

"Grandma!" Hanna shouted before her father could finish his apology. The five-year-old went running up to her grandmother's bed, her arms outstretched, her black curls bouncing. "You were sleepin' a _lot!"_

Leia smiled at her granddaughter. "Well I'm awake now. Come here, why don't you give your grandma a hug?"

Hanna didn't even wait for Leia to finish talking before she jumped onto the bed and threw her arms around her grandmother.

"Be gentle, Hanna," Ben reminded. "Remember your grandmother's been very sick lately."

"I know," said Hanna, planting a big kiss on Leia's cheek. "Grandma look, I made you something!"

"Really?" asked Leia. "What is it?"

"Daddy's got it!"

With a slightly embarrassed expression, Ben placed a homemade book in his mother's lap. "Ara helped some too."

"Mommy put the book together," Hanna quickly intervened, "but I wrote the words and drew the pictures myself!"

Leia felt like her grin wouldn't fade even if she had a second heart attack. "Well thank you so so much, this is a wonderful present. Why don't we read it together?"

"Yeah!" the child exclaimed, snuggling up to her grandmother's side.

On the book's cover, Hanna had written "The Brave Princess" in her lopsided handwriting, a few of the letters written backwards, but that only made it more charming to Leia's eyes. Underneath the title was a doodle of Leia wearing that white dress and those big hair buns over her ears.

"The Brave Princess," Hanna read, pointing to the words as she said them. "Come on, open it!"

Leia did so, and there was a drawing of her facing against a stick figure Vader, both figures full of coloring freely outside the lines. "Once upon a time," Hanna read, "there was a _brave_ princess. She was so brave, she wasn't even scared of _Darth Vader!"_ She pointed to the Leia drawing. "See, that's _you."_

"I see," replied Leia. "It looks just like me."

"Yeah," said Hanna as she turned the page, revealing another drawing of Leia – this time holding up a blaster drawn in thick lines of black crayon. "The princess could shoot many, _many_ stormtroopers at a time!" she read. "And she never missed!"

Leia gave a tiny snicker. "Well, I don't know about _never_ missed."

"Well you didn't miss _much,"_ came Han's voice from the doorway. Leia looked up and there was her husband giving his trademark grin that never faded with age. "Hanna," he said in a pretend-scolding voice, "did you start reading Grandma's book without me?"

Hanna giggled up at her grandfather. "C'mon, Grandpa! You too, Daddy! Let's all read together."

Han and Ben obeyed the child and leaned against opposite sides of the bed while she turned the page and revealed a drawing of Leia giving a speech in front of a bunch of stick figures. "She was a great, _great_ leader," Hanna read with gusto in her voice. "She helped blow up _two_ Death Stars!" She turned the page and there was the word "BOOM!" written in giant red letters. "BOOOOOOOOM!" the girl shouted, almost loud enough to drown out the heart monitor.

The adults burst out laughing, though Leia had to stop after a few seconds to calm her heartbeat. "Careful, Mom," Ben said, patting her shoulder. "Careful."

Leia took a deep breath to suck in the laughing. "I'm fine, Ben."

Hanna was patting her grandmother's arm, her eyes suddenly wide. "Don't get sick again, Grandma. It was scary when you wouldn't wake up."

Leia found herself gulping as she squeezed her granddaughter. "I'm sure it was, honey. Come on, why don't we read some more of the book?"

Hanna nodded and turned the page. This time there was a doodle of Leia holding hands with Han, both with large smiles on their faces. "The princess was also very nice," Hanna read. "She married a nice man named Han and they had a baby." She suddenly pointed up at Ben. "That's you, Daddy!"

Ben grinned down at his daughter. "Yes, I know."

"And you're _still_ our baby," teased Han, making Ben scrunch his face in embarrassment despite trying to keep his professional demeanor.

Hanna giggled as she turned the page again, this time revealing a doodle of Leia with lines in her face next to a doodle of Han with silver hair. Next to them was a doodle of Ben, his black hair almost obscuring his face, with a doodle of his wife Ara next to him, her brown hair drawn in long crayon strokes, and a little stick figure tucked between them. "Then the baby grew up," Hanna read, "and had his own baby. Now the princess was a grandma!"

Leia felt like she couldn't stop smiling if she tried.

Then Hanna turned to the last page, which showed Leia inside a giant heart. "The princess was very brave, but best of all, she had a GREAT BIG HEART!" She closed the book. "The end!"

 _Great big heart . . ._

Now her granddaughter was looking at her with wide, expectant eyes. "Well, did you like it?"

Leia couldn't speak. She stared down at the book in her lap, blinking rhythmically. _Great big heart._ How much did Hanna understand about what happened? _Great big heart._ The beeps that measured her heartbeat kept drumming on, showing that she was alive.

Alive even though her heart had stopped.

Her gaze drifted up towards her husband, who had given her his oxygen so she might live long enough to be treated. Then her head slowly turned to face her son, who had dedicated his expertise to saving her.

"Well?" Hanna pressed. "Grandma? Do you like it?"

Leia couldn't stop her eyes from welling up. She could have been dead right now and Han would have lost his wife, Luke his sister, Ben his mother, and Hanna her grandmother. And where would _she_ be? Would she be a ghost, watching her family in grief and unable to comfort them?

"Grandma?" Hanna's voice was worried now. "Are you okay? Don't cry."

Leia sniffled, wiping her hand over her eyes, though the tears still blurred her vision. "I'm . . . I'm sorry . . . I just . . . I nearly died . . . I guess it's hitting me."

She felt Han's strong arms wrap around her and his chapped lips kiss her forehead. "It hit all of us, sweetheart," he whispered. "These last few days I couldn't stop cryin'. And Ben – well he had to hold it together in order to do his job, but you could tell that inside he was breaking down."

Leia tried to respond, but only sobs came out. Why did this happen? How did it happen? Could it happen again? Why did a simple trip to spend Fete with her son and his family end up with her almost _dying?_

And why was it affecting her so strongly now? Hadn't she faced death in battle so many times already? She had been shot at and _shot_ before, after all. But this . . . this was different.

This time her heart had actually _stopped._

"How long was I gone?" she found herself whispering.

"What?" asked Han.

Leia swallowed, wiping her hand over her eyes. "How . . . how long was I gone? Not unconscious . . . _gone?_ "

Han was chewing his lip. "Well . . . technically you were gone _twice._ You first stopped breathing on the Falcon about ten minutes before we landed, but after I performed the CPR you started breathing again. Then . . . well Ben, you can tell her the next part."

Ben cleared his throat as though struggling to maintain a professional demeanor even though he was talking to his mother. "You went into cardiac arrest shortly before you were brought to the hospital and . . . it took about twenty minutes to get your heart beating again."

Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes with no heartbeat. Twenty minutes when she had been _where?_ Had her soul simply been resting during that time, or could it have left her body? Would she remember if it _had_ left her body? Why was she even asking this?

"Grandma?" Hanna was asking. "Do you wanna read the story again? It might help you feel better."

Leia took a deep breath, filling her lungs, bringing a bit more pain to her chest. "Yes, why don't we?" She glanced up at her husband and son. "All of us?"

Hanna and Leia scooted closer together so the men could sit on either side of them while Hanna read the book a second time. When she got to the end, both Han and Ben shouted out "but best of all, she had a GREAT BIG HEART!" with her, making Leia blush. She didn't know why she had so narrowly escaped death, but she knew that she would make the most of that fact.

THE END

 _For Carrie._


End file.
